Saturday, August 27, 2016

Melting the Ice

The first thing I do in the morning after waking up is to check weather forecast. I am tired of this long summer. I cannot stand these hot and humid days. I am not on the beach in some exotic destination. I am in  Toronto and this asphalt is too hot, I sweat a lot. I don't like winter either but I need snow for my daily yoga practice.

I'm practicing yoga because I want to melt the ice with my ass.

Have you ever seen how great yogis sit in the snow and how the snow around them melts away from the intense heat they produce in their meditation? I want to do the same! It is my life's goal. 

At present I have no snow to practice with. Only what I have is the ice from the fridge. I tried this morning on my balcony. I sit on the ice and what can I tell you. There is a great movement in the right direction. After only 5 minutes, my underwear was completely wet.

It is obvious that my yoga practice creates necessary mental and physical energy which melts the ice under my butt. It is true, yoga is a tool for awakening. Yoga is spiritual practice - physical, emotional and mental. 

I don't care if yoga is religion or not. I don't do chanting and prayers although I might add that in the daily schedule. I think it is too dangerous to do prayers. What if they are answered? 

The rest of the 2016 is all about concentration, meditation and samadhi. I want transcendental consciousness, I want union with God, eternal Bliss...

You know what, I need more ice.

The Weeping Soul

Eyes looking at the sky, 
when, with a blast of trumpets, 
they let the falcon fly.

Gucha 2016

The trumpet is my favorite musical instrument. In fact, the trumpet is much more than a musical instrument. It's sound resembles the weeping of the human soul. It is originally used to dispel evil spirits and as a signaling device in battles. The sound of trumpet was heard for thousands of years. It is played only by males.

Gucha 2016

I was born just like any other human being with a unique destiny designed just for me. I was born to be free expression of the spirit with natural abilities and talents connecting me to success and happiness.

Slowly as I grew up I found myself in the chaos of parent disagreements. When I was 5 they put me into kindergarten where my natural destiny became challenged. I was slowly disconnected from the spirit by daily routines. 

At 7, I've cried so hard when I'd found out that I have to go to school every day. I could not understood the reason for that stupidity. I was innocent, naive and too young to understand the system, I had no choice but to follow the rules set out in front of me. 

I lived a life where is exactly set when to eat, sleep, study and play. Little by little my original and natural individuality was gone as teachers asked me to memorize and repeat various subjects. My parents enforced the rules and they believed more to neighbours than to myself. 

Gucha 2016

By the age of 20 I become a puppet on a string; I got the wrong job, wrong relationship and shitty social life. Whole my life was driven by obedience and discipline in the system where "what will other say" was a main concern.

I was living a half-asleep just like everyone else. At 29 I got my own child and I applied the same rules I was subjected to... 
Man is immersed in dreams... He lives in sleep… He is a machine. He cannot stop the flow of his thoughts, he cannot control his imagination, his emotions, his attention... He does not see the real world. The real world is hidden from him by the wall of imagination. - Gurdjieff
We were built to be light, yet we live in darkness.

This is the truth of the weeping soul.

Friday, August 26, 2016

Live is Life

What happens to you when you go on vacation? 

The rest and relaxation, a sense of adventure, willingness to try new things, and wish to make the most of every minute. You laugh harder, love more, and live freer. 

So ask yourself, why is it that you don’t have these passions in your everyday life?

I’m on vacation every single day! 

I do work in the office but I don't put my entire attention there. My days are great source of adventure choice, freedom, joy, peace, creativity. Today I went for a walk at High Park, yesterday I had a coffee at Starbucks and two days ago I cut my hair. 

I keep inner balance, I am releasing my bitterness and I forgive others.   

Yes, I'm changing. I embrace the change. One thing’s true in this life, we all change. Change is the only constant. Nothing within me is truly the same as a month ago, just as nothing around me is like a month ago. 

I love life, I love the world! Let's get together and change it one hug at a time! Burn some incense, do yoga! Save trees, save animals, eat organic, shit in the toalets!

I love spirituality, the light and happines, it’s good for my heart, which opens once a year. Most of the time it is closed due to painful things. But pain is not so bad! And good isn't good sometimes, bad is good, war is peace, freedom is slavery. Awareness grows!

Hey, that brings me: one time, (the days of dissolution of my marriage, the fucking divorce) I went through some painful things — I tried to be an observer in Higher Self (capital letters) not just in this lowercase self shit. I was the Higher Self, the observer, and I did breathe. Yes, prana when things went tough. I've heard that breathing is healthy. Particularly breathing in and out, it went so well for me. I'm grateful for it. Really.

Oh yes, I did the one thousand five hundred sixty seventh practice this morning, and, of course, I did meditation. Yoga and meditation is good - it’s not just for the body, it helps me get sober from last night — and to be present and remember that my life is full of abundance.

I am falling in love with where I am. I surrender to the present moment. I like it. I'm practicing it. 

The present moment! It's great. 

Yoga is so important to me. It takes me away from the computer screen. Yoga means ONION or UNION. It really means anything you want. It teaches us to embrace everyone flexing our hamstrings with love and respect.

Am I offending 80% of spiritual new-agers? Good. 

Go find another blog to read for free. This blog is about genuine spiritual wisdom. I don’t even like the word “spiritual”. It’s about life - you know, what happens when you discover that you are nothing but an asshole.

Thumbs up? Please add your bullshit wisdom in the comments section bellow. Thank you. 

Thursday, August 25, 2016

Sometimes you have to be rude

Guys, if you’re tired of watching into your phone waiting to see her message, scratching your head in confusion, read on. This is what I have learned from my own mistakes, and from observations I've made along the way. Regardless, I'm telling you this for sole intention to help you.

Two days ago, in the morning, around 8 AM I received a message from the Stranger (do you remember her?). She said briefly "Hi Zee". I replied in 10 minutes, sent her my photo and called her for a coffee. 

She did not respond at all. Obviously, she is entertaining someone else and it is completely uninterested in me. So, why she is texting me?

This is the fourth time she is sending me a message on which I reply and then she ignores me. So yesterday afternoon I sent her the following message:

In the perfect world I would always be nice. But this isn't a perfect world, and I don't allow others to play with me... 

I have some bad habits. One of those stupid habits is to say "I am sorry" for everything. 

"I am sorry" is supposed to be an apology, an expression of remorse for something I've done wrong. Something that occasionally serves as my request for forgiveness.

I apologize before giving my opinions.

I basically apologize before speaking up in any situation.

I apologize on airplanes when I bump elbows with the passenger next to me.

I am asking permission to order food or to get the bill.

And all that is okay. But this... sending around random text messages and then "forgetting" to text back deserves an appropriate answer. I won't apologize for my rudeness.

What exactly should I apologize for?

For having a voice? For stopping being a puppet?


Guys, you are welcome.

I'm just being honest.

Wednesday, August 24, 2016

This too shall pass

Hello, my friend. Here we are. You and me, on the last page. By the time you read this post, my memory of you will be gone. So know that I live well and I'm happy. And above all else, know that I'm gone forever. You'll be coming back on these pages for awhile. And then you'll stop doing that. That's what you should do. Don't be alone! Kiss... goodbye.
There is room enough in my heart to love an infinite amount of people until the end of time. But. I can only afford to give my thoughts, time and energy to those who return my love, multiply it and give me the wings. 
In our lives, people will come and go, and they will leave wounds. In order to release yourself, you must learn to love yourself. To breathe. To stop hoping. Please be yourself, cold and calculated, and forget all this...
At the end of the day, let there be no excuses, no explanations, no regrets. 

Wednesday, August 24, 2016, seven days before vacation. 

A long hot summer days continue. I woke up at 5:30 a.m. and I will start the yoga practice soon. I feel great. Yesterday I worked from home, my daughter visited me and we had dinner together. We talked about our lack of communication, things are improving...

Life is too short for drama, insecurities and "what will people think about me".

Life goes on...

I postpone death by living, by suffering, by error, by risking, by giving, by losing.
- Anais Nin