Thursday, April 28, 2016

The California dream is dead

We are living in the times of the end of capitalism. The neo-liberalism brings the seeds of the destruction of the economics as we know it. I only hope that the capitalism is resilient enough so the final crash will not happen in my life time. 

Glory, Glory, Hallelujah!!!

As I walk through this wicked world searching for light in the darkness of insanity I ask myself is all hope lost? Is there only pain and hatred, and misery?

Do you watch TV news? I can hardly believe my eyes any more it’s all so fucking deliberately packed to hide the shallowness and meaninglessness of this world.

I need to save the money. I have to look carefully at my desires, stop acquiring new unnecessary things and enjoy what I have. Seneca was so right. 

These are the thoughts I had this morning. This morning, I got the salary payment and I paid visa, mastercard and line of credit. I don't owe anything on credit cards but it is left only $300 for two-weeks living. A long two-weeks. 

It is 7:30 a.m. and I am late with my yoga practice. I will start when I post this. It is my fourth practice of this week and things are going great. I am bendy and strong. 84 kg. It is cold outside and I still wear winter jacket. I don't remember when last time I wore the winter jacket to the end of April. Global warming and other shit stories for small kids...

Last night I start reading Nisargadatta Maharaj's Nectar of Immortality again. I read that book five times so far and always I find it very interesting. It is about our real nature, who we really are. I always forget that.

The weekend is coming... it will be cold, one digit temperature, I will go for long walks and just relax, read Nisargadatta and practice yoga... nothing else to do.

It's now very common to hear people say, 'I'm rather offended by that.' 
As if that gives them certain rights. It's actually nothing more... than a whine. 
'I find that offensive.' It has no meaning; it has no purpose; 
it has no reason to be respected as a phrase. 'I am offended by that.' 
Well, so fucking what.

- Stephen Fry

Wednesday, April 27, 2016

Woman Used Dates For Free Dinners

Guest Post, Written By Jill Pantozzi

Get ready to put on your own Lisa disapproval faces, this is going to make you angry. A New York woman has confessed to signing up for the online dating service because she was going into debt and wanted free food the dates would provide her. Going on five dates a week she “made” up to $1200 a month. This is where we go berserk. 

The woman, who is now anonymous but given (of all things) the fictional name of the Harry Potter character Minerva McGonagall thanks to the fury her story caused, was perfectly happy to share her story. “Before I barely had enough money to pay for food,” she told Business Insider. “After using I found I wasn’t going into debt anymore.”

The woman wasn’t going into debt anymore because men were purchasing one meal a day for her. “Her $45k salary was not enough and she needed at least an extra $500 a month and sometimes $1,000 to pay her credit card bills and afford her $1,475 a month apartment in Murray Hill,” writes BI. “Then she discovered– the perfect site for a broke 23-year-old.”

Her plan involved eating out five nights a week using a rotation of different men from Match and made it a rule not to go out on more than five dates with the same man. She quickly had men buying her not just food but alcohol, even a $200 bottle of champagne on one date.

“[She] went from easily spending $500 a month on dinners alone to having someone else dole out an average of $60-plus per night,” writes BI. “She also stopped eating lunch and opted for a light breakfast to save even more.”

They point out that it cost $50 a month to subscribe to Match but that the amount she saved thanks to the dates made up for it. In her own words, “I mean, a guy buys me three drinks at $15 a pop and that right there made up for my Match fee.”

The woman learned about the advantages of online dating thanks to a roommate and soon her and another rooomate were doing the same. “We made ground rules,” she said, going so far as to make spreadsheets about the men who took them out and what they received from them.

Although it was keeping her out of debt, the woman admitted she wanted to settle down and has herself a steady boyfriend at the moment. “It was exhausting,” she said. “I needed my sleep and I was done playing the game.”

What can I say about this? It’s bad. It’s bad, bad, bad, bad, bad. You may have your own rules when it comes to dating but can we all agree this is reprehensible behavior for someone of any gender? It isn’t stated in the article whether the woman actually had any interest in these men but with a cap on five dates it’s safe to say she wasn’t looking for Mr. Right at all, just a meal ticket. And well, she admitted this was all because of her money problems. It’s tantamount to fraud in my eyes. You can debate what the men where expecting from the date (Match does have a reputation) but the assumption is people are looking for a relationship when they go out on a date.

The story also didn’t delve into what her credit card expenses were. While one person’s frivolity is another person’s necessary coping mechanism (high-speed internet, for example), but one would hope that a person would eliminate their luxuries before they committed a premeditated series of unethical acts. The story did, however, mention she has at least two roommates. I know people living like that in the city and they live just fine without resorting to extorting unsuspecting men out of their hard-earned money. Of course in NYC, it’s entirely possible her portion of the rent is $1,450 (especially in Murray Hill) and not the entirety of it but regardless, this is one of the worst cases of living outside your means I’ve ever seen. It’s also one of the most despicable ways to try and fix your money problems.

I know I’m not the only one who thinks so, right? In fact the article had to be updated after it was posted, “We’ve disabled comments on this post because they were getting out of control. We have also changed the name of the woman in the story because people were taking it waaaay too seriously.” What is there about this to NOT take seriously? Not only is it pretty reprehensible behavior for anyone, it’s also an example of knowingly participating in one of the worst stereotypes misogynists hold on to about women (that we are money grubbing, gold digging leeches), which hurts everyone and the fact that she saw this as a great idea is horrendous. Men may be nice enough and willing to pay for you on dates but you shouldn't let them just so you can make the rent and share their wealth with your friends.

the real example from profile: 
she is making $35 - 50 K but she is looking for $150+

Tuesday, April 26, 2016

Who needs the second date?

Dating ... if you're not so serious about it, it can be a great fun. 

I am not dating anymore... but I feel obligated to my readers to report that in April I've been on a string of bad dates, all of them coming from And all of them with women who I believed to be attractive.

All of these dates have been horribly bland. The vanilla conversations, never really amounting to anything beyond what we do for a living, where we got divorced, hows match been going for you, etc. They've been pleasant, but there's just nothing there, despite previously flirty texts and phone calls.

On a date I don't like to talk about common things, I try to avoid small talk at all cost. Small talk is death. Instead, I like to talk to her like I'd talk to one of my buddies. Talk about interesting things. Laugh. I shouldn't realistically need to say much. Just let her do the talking for the most part, then occasionally respond with something relevant and funny. But it was not like that.

Imagine this...

I met her online. She looked attractive. We exchanged a few messages and I gave her my phone number. She called me. She was hot and I thought we are sharing the same interests. I asked her out on a date for a dinner, she agreed. We met, we sat on the table and then... what?

Yes, I want to have a nice, normal, getting-to-know-you-and-laugh conversation but she is not buying anything what I say and she is so secretive about herself. Oh well, time is passing slowly, I'm trying to fill out the gaps by starting to talk gibberish, she just listen without saying anything.

I want to yell "the bill please!," but the waiter did not even brought the wine yet...

How would you react in a WTF situation like this?

All these dates have followed the same pattern: match, text, flirt, date and then goodbye message, if there is one.

After some thinking, and if I'm being honest, it's really not my fault. It's not just a dating thing. I guess you'd call this awkward?

This is the kind of awkward date you will never forget because it makes you self-aware. Everything about this date is wrong, sleazy and wrong and you know it but you cannot be true to yourself and just walk away... 

Am I against bad first dates? Not really. It's better to have a bad first date than a good one and start dating your new love just to be disappointed later, down the road. Think about it, a bad first date can save you a lot of time and heartache in the future.

On date, don't just tell her every boring detail of your trivial life. Nobody wants to hear that shit. Above all, have a fun, be relaxed and focus on having a good time. If she's not engaging you, she's not doing you a favor just because she's attractive. Remember: relationships are a two-way street. She's gotta impress you too.

Good luck. You got this.

Monday, April 25, 2016

Only a dead fish go with the flow

I don't want to alarm you, but there's a possibility that our universe is nothing more than a huge simulation, that we're all living inside a gigantic computer, and none of this is real.

Our life is nothing but a simulation on some computer. 

A team of physicists has provided some of the clearest evidences that our Universe could be just one big projection and as soon as you are not looking, the things simply vanish, they are not there, BUT the real question is do we want to know about it?

I don't think so. 

We have no time for such things. The life is pressing us so we go with the flow without ever exploring what it is we truly want out of life. I know there’s something wrong, but I'm too polite to complain and too busy to think about it much...

You see, only a dead fish go with the flow.

The fact is that we're not enjoying our life. We're constantly living with anxiety and self-doubts. We're always working, all the time, like machine without any rest, just in order to meet our needs. It is our greed to want more luxurious and unnecessary things to fulfill this empty life that is causing us anxiety...